20 1 / 2012
Relationships and I seem to be having a thing at the moment…
You could almost say we were dating…
(I know I’m so hilarious!)
But seriously I’m learning alot as I continue to live life and I love to share and you, obviously love to listen…
There is however a BIG difference between learning something in theory and putting it into practice… I now know alot about relationships in theory but not so much in practice, which is something im changing. If I want to live what I’m learning I’m going to have to take some risks… experimentation to be exact… I normally love experiments, blowing things up is fun! Blowing up your own heart… hmm… not so much fun.
I think it’s rather amusing that I can leap from an airplane and plummet towards earth with a giant plastic bag to catch me and jump off of a tower with only a giant elastic band tied to my ankles… but telling people about my feelings scares me! and I know I am not alone!
But what is cool about this process of applying what I’ve learned in theory into my everyday life, is that, one, the people I’m learning to do healthy relationships with are also learning to do healthy relationships, and two, I’m trusting my God to pick me up if and when I make a mistake… He has healed my heart before so I know He can do it again.
So why am I still scared?
I have insurance, in a way… when I jumped from the plane and the towers I also had insurance but the stakes were much higher… my life was on the line… so do I value my hearts safety over my own life?
This I find is an interesting revelation…
One I think is true for most people, we risk our lives everyday in multiple ways yet how often to we risk our hearts? Our feelings? Our true selves? What are we afraid of? It must be truly terrifying since we would rather risk dying that revealing our hearts…
But I have decided.
I am going to take the leap.
I’ll let you know what I find during the free fall…
30 11 / 2011
Such a funny word huh? As soon as I hear it, my mind instantly pictures a romantic image of the quintessential couple staring lovingly into each others eyes like there is no one else on the planet… cheesy huh? Bet you were thinking something similar…
But really relationships are EVERYWHERE! We even have relationships with our pets?!
Think about it, from the day you were born and you were held by your parents relationship began, and when you die those relationships close to you farewell you from this earth. They permeate every part of our life -unless your a hermit in a cave on the Spanish coastline somewhere- but how often do we stop to think about how we “DO” relationships?
As I am immersed in a culture where relationships are considered a priority there is a few things I have learned that I believe are so worth passing on…
1. We were designed for relationship. Our amazing creator designed a planet, a solar system and universe, landscapes that reflect His creativity and beauty and then He placed us in the centre of it all and said “I made this all for you! and I want to share it with you for all of forever” Everything He did was to make a way for us to enjoy everything He has to offer and for us to walk through the adventure called Life together.
So with this being the foundation of Life, my perspective on relationships had just a slight shift you might say…
2. Relationships aren’t easy. They aren’t like the movies where everything just magically -by some hollywood airbrushing and film editing and fancy script writing- works out to be a “Happily Ever After”. They are hard, frustrating at times, cause us to run the risk of being hurt by those we hold in trust but they are also the most rewarding expression of life available to man! They are fun, meet our needs, fill us with a sense of purpose and give us direction and passion. They are well worth the effort that they require, but are not all the hard things in life worth the most??
3. When you understand that everyone is different and we all bring interesting and incredible gifts and strengths and weaknesses to the table of relationship, relationships become a whole lot easier. I am not you. You are not me. When we realise that no one will EVER think like me and views things through another set of life experiences we begin to become better at relationships and with relating to the incredible people around us.
4. You are Valuable. I am Valuable. So is the guy sitting next to you on the bus, or the girl cashing your groceries… We ALL have value and when we begin to recognise this, we begin to give honour, respect and love where it is due. Have you ever noticed when you take time to stop and value what someone else brings to the table how much it can make a difference to their day? When we understand that we have value, we are more capable of bringing value to the things and most importantly to the people around us. When people feel valued, relating to them becomes so much easier!
5. Honesty… It is only as 3 syllable word we throw around pretty frequently and casually. “I’m Honest” we say, yet when was the last time you really opened up to a significant other in your life and really told them how you felt? What the inner you, the man you keep safe under lock and key was feeling? We sugar coat the truth hoping to reveal just enough of what we’re feeling that they will catch on but not enough to cause a full scale investigation and/or to cause a tidal wave that will not only rock the boat but send it flying way off course… I’m learning that honestly, Honesty (pun intended) is simple, but can be the biggest risk we take in a relationship. It means opening up, being vulnerable, making your self a possible target for all the pain we try to avoid. It is a risk. Risks are scary. That’s why they are risks. But risky things always have a great reward attached to them, do they not?
I remember standing on the edge of an incredibly small platform, approximately 50 metres above a small pool of water with an elastic rope tied to my ankles and being told to let go and jump. Why would I want to do that? Bungy jumping sounded great when I was standing on the solid ground below, joking about how loud people scream and how it can’t really be that scary… right? But when I was standing on that ledge and being told to put my life into the faith that the elastic tied to my ankles was going to save me from plummeting to my death was a different story!
(and man did I scream!)
Not only that but I was on the biggest high!!
That jump was probably one of the scariest things I have ever done, but I would so do it again! The reward that came with taking that leap of faith was so incredible!
The cool thing is, the reward of taking the leap in relationship is so much more rewarding, the high doesn’t wear off after 30 minutes, it lasts. Your relationship goes to the next level and so do the rewards… and the jumps!
But I had to make a choice and I chose the leap of faith, including all the risks it entailed,
Will you let go and jump?